Do not foam his room...

Some guys find it endearing, when girls play cute woozy pranks on them. They devour it as an appetizer to the girl's innate naughtiness!! A foretaste of that scrumptious 7 course meal awaiting unbridled consumption!!

But, LO BEHOLD!!! If the guy you worship exhibits the following symptoms, it’s in your sanity's best interest,to not give him any glimpse of your femininity. Else, once he is finished, you will remain no less than the little girl whose skirt he blew up when he was 5 years old. His foe in combat!!

Hem in the cuteness and DO NOT FOAM HIS ROOM if your crush exhibits the following symptoms:


1) He does not have a beard yet!! (lack of testosterone!!)

1st sign of keeping away from any form of subtle or in his face flirting!
(tiny hair on the chin which he 'shaves off' with a clipper, sadly- DO NOT COUNT).

He will probably misunderstand your actions as a 'scheme' aiming his downfall and think that your sole intention was to ruin his ‘macbook’ (his true love...sigh!!)
Remember when we were little and hated guys for their existence?? Remember how they never let Barbie get married to that damn GI JOE just because they didn’t grasp the concept of romance??? Put that precise logic to use and u will probably be his ‘Bestest Bud’ in no time!! just what you wanted all along( i am roasting with sarcasm)!!...yay!! :|


2) He gets drunk and leeches on to other guys!!!
NO NO WAIT!!...Gets drunk and calls people around him 'CHEMICAL SIBLINGS'!! What Pure Love... :) Back Off!! Lest you aim to be next in the family tree!!

(My sympathies, but, biological and philosophical don't really make it better!!)


3) The only chat U've ever had with him was about how nauseous he got when his neighbor did not shower for 3 days after playing a sweaty game of basketball.

I mean, you try your sexiness on him, and he will probably discuss your body odor and your bathing regime...trust me...Its hard to get him to rise back to the same level in your eyes (sob!) (took me like 6 months..But then, I am resilient!!)
We like our men DIRTY(ish) (wink!) (Pretend to be dirty…Puhleeez!!)


4) You enroll him in a salsa class and he steps on your feet more than five times... Big mistake!! Before you know it he will be flinging you around trying to master the DAMN Art form!! (I mean who takes dance classes to learn dance?? Just stand there man!! Let proximity do its thing…) ;)


5)You are prancing about, in a basketball game, trying to be your dainty best and the only body contact he gives you is a Moving Screen that almost knocks you over!! Get your act together gurl!!! Its probably best to just let the court be the battle field it’s meant to be n give his ribs a taste of your elbow and inertia!!

6)You get drunken n loose ;)What a time to take one of those cute 'advantages' guys try to take BUT he grabs the opportunity, and steals your food!! Tragic!! (sadly, It’s happened with me) But, if I could get over it, then it’s possible for even a pig to love him again!!

7) You finally get a chance to sit together on the bus, that anticipation, heart thudding at the idea of propinquity, and he calls you- wait for it- ‘BROAD’ (weep!!!) I mean, you are not even fat, but he still hits you with it!! It’s SOOO the time for class 3rd verbal brawl!!! Screw the cuteness, bring on the ‘Pimple face’, ‘chicken leg’, ‘cheese head’ and throw in some ‘Dude?? where's is your beard???’

I mean it’s supposed to be the 'decent guy code' to never call a girl anything more than anorexic. If you see Chivalry ceasing to exist, bring on the stilettos.

But finally, if the whole reason he is upset with you and behaving like a total five year old is because he is jealous of a romantic card you once made for someone else you loved, it’s just worth it to give him a hundred chances and be in love with him despite everything! (smooch!!)

If not, Then its just so much fun getting down to his level and playing 'class 3' again...Just keep buggin him n have your fun!!

P.S: This is out of jest; I have over exaggerated and dramatized without shame!!